By Heidi Perez-Moreno
Beth has always enjoyed cooking. But the kitchen at the home she shared with her ex-boyfriend for 10 years had become a war zone.
He would criticize her every move, said Beth, who declined to share her real name because she feared for her safety. Anything could set him off — utensils, the water temperature — and he would yell and beat her, she said.
Eventually, Beth said, she would wait until her boyfriend left the house to prepare food for her and her 15-year-old granddaughter.
Last week, Beth was excited to cook a meal without stress or fear. She made sirloin steak with mushrooms and garlic sauce at Families First, a domestic violence shelter that serves Bladen and Columbus counties.
“There’s nobody watching me,” she said. “There’s nobody telling me which pot to use. There’s nobody telling me what to put the temperature on.”
Families First serves between 1,500 and 2,000 men and women each year who are victims of sexual assault or domestic violence. The organization provides 24-hour crisis intervention, trauma-informed therapy and yoga, and help with obtaining restraining orders. About 60 people stay in the shelter each year.
Like other domestic violence organizations, Families First is dealing with federal funding cuts. About two-thirds of its $600,000 budget comes from federal grants, said Vickie Pait, executive director of Families First.
Ninety-three partner violence programs across North Carolina, including Families First, saw more than 40% in cuts from the federal Crime Victims Fund as part of Congress-approved decreases that began in 2019, The Assembly reported in May. More cuts are expected, including through the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, as part of President Donald Trump’s broader plans to slash the federal budget.
Several programs through the Department of Justice have been terminated, including the Office of Justice Programs and the Office on Violence Against Women. Funds from the Victims of Crime Act dropped more than 42% to $24.6 million last year in North Carolina, according to the Governor’s Crime Commission.
“We’ve had bad times, but nothing as severe as this,” Pait said. “This has to be the worst. I’ve never worried about shutting doors.”
Funding cuts forced the Southeastern Family Violence Center, the only domestic violence shelter serving Robeson and Scotland counties, to eliminate two jobs last year, said Executive Director Emily Locklear. A child advocate helped kids who have witnessed domestic violence undergo trauma screenings and counseling referrals; an outreach specialist coordinated domestic violence education events at schools, workplaces and fundraisers.
Locklear said her 12-member team absorbed those duties. “We’re still doing that because our staff was cross trained,” she said, “but we’re not doing it at the capacity that we did.”
More cuts would place a heavier burden on staff, who provide 24-hour support and help with housing, court orders and hospital visits, Locklear said.
More than 150,000 people live in Robeson and Scotland counties, and Locklear said the Southeastern Family Violence Center does not have the capacity to serve everyone who needs help. Its 22-bed shelter can accommodate people for about 30 days — not enough time, she said, for some domestic violence survivors to find safe housing and build stability.
Homicides related to domestic violence have increased in recent years in North Carolina: 155 victims last year marked a 14.8% increase from 2023, according to the State Bureau of Investigation.
Alaysha Odum, 20, was shot and killed on May 15 at a hotel in Lumberton in what police called a domestic dispute. Deshawn James Armfield, 24, turned himself in to police and was charged with first-degree murder.
Organizers of domestic violence organizations say they cannot reach every victim or prevent every case of abuse. It’s a realization that keeps Pait up at night.
Families First allows those who need help to stay at the shelter for up to seven weeks. The goal, Pait said, is to help people build confidence from a place of safety and comfort, and also build camaraderie.
Pait said she often receives calls from people in other counties who say the shelters in their communities are full or don’t accept pets.
“That’s a big obstacle to people leaving — the pets,” Pait said.
Beth said she feels like she is healing, but it will take time. Her emotions swing wildly, she said, as she is calm one moment and crying the next because she can’t find her keys. The thought of finding a new place to live is daunting.
Beth said she initially sought help at Families First early last month, the morning after a particularly intense beating. She met a sexual assault advocacy coordinator who spent two hours helping her process trauma and create an escape plan.
She returned home but went back to the shelter following another altercation. Beth said she and her granddaughter would probably be dead if they hadn’t left the house.
“We are blessed to have this shelter here in Columbus County,” she said.
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